NEON YELLOW CRUSH // SOFT & DUSTY // ASMR // SLEEP AID // ODDLY SATISFYING

When I tell you I can’t possibly love this anymore….. 💛💛💛💛🤍💛💛💛💛 I’m going to get all serious on you for once… I know y’all have noticed I post less and my filming spots and equipment change often. It all boils down to I’m not feeling well. My auto immune disease is kicking my 🍑. My hands and wrists are what is most physically affected at the moment. I barely have any grip strength. I can see my hands shaking in recent videos and it irritates me. My joints hurt, my skin is dry and flakey, my temperature flunctuates from cold to feverish, I get rashes and mouth sores, my teeth hurt, my body is slow and my head is in a fog. Yes I am lucky to now have a great team of doctors. Yes I go to therapy. Lots of it. Yes I have help. Just going to work every day feels like climing Mt Everest. I know this flare likely won’t last forever - it’s probably due to the unseasonably cold and rainy weather. I create and film where I feel comfortable at the moment. If I’m hot I go down to my cold basement. If I can’t sit still I stand in my usual spot. If I can’t stand I sit on the floor. If I can’t clear my head I film in front of a big window. Gripping chalk has been a challenge lately so I’ve made a bunch of really soft creations and this is one of them. The heart is Cosmic Chroma’s crustless powder. I dyed Spider Chalk blocks rainbow colors and my hands are so bad it has taken me 2 weeks to crush 3 out of the 6 blocks. I’ve just been creating and filming little by little as my mind and body...