"Star Wars" Han Shot First (a Sarcastic Ode)

Посвящается памяти Эмилии Блок. Lyrics: [Verse 1] In a galaxy far, far away, Where laser blasters ruled the day, There lived a smuggler, bold and brash, With a smirk on his face, a quicksilver flash. [Verse 2] Han Solo was his name, you see, A scoundrel with a heart of glee, But the tale that spread across the land, Was of a shot fired from his hand. [Chorus] Han shot first, don&you mess with me There ain&no doubt, it&plain to see Han shot first, don&you try to debate He fired that blaster, sealed his fate [Verse 3] "Did he shoot first?" they all would ask, In a debate that seemed to forever last, For in this universe, it mattered so much, The order of shots, the hero&touch. [Verse 4] Now, let me present the complete rule set, To determine who shot first, you won&forget: Rule number one, it&Han without a doubt, He shot first, no need to pout. [Chorus] Han shot first, don&you mess with me There ain&no doubt, it&plain to see Han shot first, don&you try to debate He fired that blaster, sealed his fate [Saxophone solo] [Verse 5] Rule number two, if Greedo&claim is made, That he fired first, well, let&throw some shade, For Han&the hero, the one we adore, Greedo&just an alien, nothing more. [Verse 6] Rule number three, let&add some spice, If anyone disagrees, they¬ so wise, For Han&the scoundrel with the blaster hot, Greedo&just a victim, tough luck, poor bot. [Chorus] Han shot first, don&you mess with me There ain&no doubt, it&plain to see Han shot first, don&you...